Annual Crash Post

When I was a young man, my mottos were "drive fast, take chances" and "live fast, die young" and "NO FUTURE." Those of you who know me well can attest that I am understating how recklessly I lived the early part of my life.

I have been thinking a lot about crashing recently. Maybe it is my recent 39th birthday that has me feeling my mortality.

In my mind, 2011 has become the year of the crash. There have been a inordinate number of crashes just in my immediate circle of friends (listed in no particular order and I am sure that I am leaving someone out in my haste).

Kyle Smith (Embrocation Cycling Journal): Skipped a gear at Wells Ave while sprinting and busted up his beautiful face, knocked out at least one tooth and broke his scapula. Currently back on the bike, expects to be racing soon. Reconstructive surgery appears to have restored da kylah to his previous splendor.

Chris Bailey (Pedro's...er...Svelte...er...Luxe Wheelworks): Jammed drivetrain while sprinting. Broken collarbone. Recovering.

Cary Fridrich (ECJ): Took an SUV to the face while riding on Beacon St in Somerville. Knocked 1/4 of his teeth out, broken jaw, various other injuries. Back on the bike, able to ride for a little over an hour at a time.

Mat Weatley (Cambridge Bicycle): Crashed at the Quabbin Road Race. Severe bruising and soreness. Bike broken. Not currently riding.

Dave Chui (RideStudioCafe): Crashed at Wompatuck last week. Road rash. Racing already.

Oscar Jiminez (RSC) : Crashed in training. Road Rash. Racing (well) with impressive bandages.

Donny Green (CB [as of this morning]): Hit a mailbox after flatting at Sterling. Not injured, all fired up to race more.

Emily Curly (Blue Steel Cyclery) (more acquaintance than friend, but I have a high level of respect for her, so she gets included): Crashed in the Rick Newhouse Criterium. Took a free lap and got back in the race to finish 5th and in the lead group (surely making Paul proud).

Adding gravity to the local crashes is the news that Wouter Weylandt crashed and died during a descent in today's stage of the Giro d'Italia. While I never heard of WW before this morning, my thoughts go out to his family and friends.

As with the post last year, I am not sure of my point. Crashing is an inherent risk in the sport. While there appears to be a crash in every race, this doesn't need to be the case.

A few years ago, someone told me that if you become scared of crashing, your racing career is essentially over. Fear and respect are two different things. Having a healthy level of respect and consideration for the wellbeing of your fellow racers does not diminish your own courage.

Enough preaching, let's race bikes now.

Be safe.

The Pastry Ride

Competitive cyclists abuse the hell out of themselves all week and especially on weekends. We spend a good portion of our waking hours with sore legs. We put in inhuman efforts at Tuesday night training races (which mind as well be PRO races), intense weeknight track racing, viciously fast and dangerous downtown criteriums, grinding multi-day stage races, grueling all-out one day road races and epic 100+ mile rides with friends when there are no races.

But Mondays are traditionally reserved for recovery. In fact, the Monday rest day is so ingrained in my cycling psyche, that I forgo completing long rides with friends on Monday holidays. Some competitive cyclists also forgo "opener" efforts on Fridays and use this as a recovery day before the weekend's races.

Road cyclists recover from high intensity bicycle racing and training by riding a bicycle at extremely low intensity. Pedaling at low intensity warms the muscles and helps them loosen up. The blood flow helps remove built up toxins. Stretching is recommended before, during and after the ride.

Many of us choose to complete these workouts in a group. This is known as a Pastry Ride. Generally, everyone meets at a central location after work on Monday evening and pedals very slowly to a coffee shop that is less than an hour away. It is understood that you are to appear on time in full team kit on a clean racing bicycle.

Road cyclists have a subtle, but inviolable style code and violations are punished by severe ostracism. For instance, Spaits and myself almost shunned each other on a 3 person pastry ride yesterday. Both of us were properly attired, except that both of us were wearing unacceptable socks, Spaits had shorty cotton tube type socks, while I had "hidden" triathlete-style socks. We both took note of each other's transgressions and agreed to defend each other when the other attendee made fun of us.

Pastry rides are a chance for teammates to deconstruct the weekend's racing, complain about sketchy riders, poor tactics, brag and boast, make excuses, and just shoot the shit. It also allows friends from other teams and different racing categories to catch up. Team switches are discussed; new teams are formed and old dissolved on these rides.

For folks who make their living in the cycling industry, these rides are major networking events, trumping sales meetings and Blackberries. With all of this racing expertise in one place, people are bound to discuss equipment choices...who better to ask than the local ------ rep about why your ------ front derailleur shifts poorly in moments of need?

The rules of the ride are quite simple. Ride slow. Real slow. You are not to attack hills, sprint for town lines or even shift into the big ring. Conversation is king, so you ride 2 abreast, even 3 up if road width permits. Less experienced riders sometimes "attack" the pastry ride. There is nothing less embarrassing that trying to race against a bunch of people who are not racing.

It is quite a sight: groups of PRO-looking kitted out cyclists on gleaming high zoot steeds, riding at exaggeratedly slow speeds.

Non-competitive cyclists often take the opportunity to drop the group of road dicks when they happen upon a pastry group. I am sure that they go home and brag to their significant other about it. Meanwhile the road dorks make fun of the aggressor's ill-fitting clothing, riding position, poor bike fit, equipment choices, creaky drivetrain, squeaking derailleur pulleys and general lack of PROness.

Most importantly though, you stop for coffee and pastry in the middle of the ride. Normally anorexic road cyclists indulge in buttery, sugary pastries; they'll have a blended coffee drinks with whipped cream and if they are feeling particularly reckless, they'll have both.

Observe:

Etiquette on a Road Ride.

1. If you see a disabled cyclist outside the city, ask if they need help. Even if they say no, ask again, many of us are embarrassed to admit that we forgot the pump. Getting stuck out in the middle of nowhere sucks. We all forget something sometimes and good deeds come back around. You never know when it will be you who doesn’t have a pump or a tube.

2. Do not spit into the wind or blow snot rockets into the riders behind you. Either get the back of the group, or shield them from you fluids with your arm.

3. Don’t share water bottles. Cyclists are delicate little flowers and prone to illness. Chances are that either you or your buddy has a bug. Don’t even ask.

4. Carry extra food. Firstly, running out of grub midride can be devastating. Better to finish with a bar in your pocket than bonk 30 miles from home. Wouldn’t you rather be the guy giving your buddy or teammate a Gu instead of the guy cadging one?

5. Take your pulls. If you are on a fast ride with your friends, don’t sit in and then sprint for every townline, its bad form. On the same note, there is no rule against timing your pulls so that you are fresh for the sprint.


6. Wait for your friends at the top of the climb. In a race you drop people; on a friendly ride, even a fast one, you should wait for everyone before hammering down that confusing part of ride following the climb. Besides, the strongest guy on the ride may have gotten dropped because he flatted through no fault of his own.

7. Carry all of the stuff that you could need on every ride. At the very least this includes a tube, levers and an inflation device that works. Obviously more is better. Everyone loves the prepared guy who has an extra tube, a functional multitool and a working frame pump. Everyone despises the guy who has nothing and needs to borrow all of the supplies to fix a flat every time.


8. When your buddy flats, roll up his flatted tube for him. If you really like the guy, you can even hold his disabled bike so that he doesn’t have to make the choice between laying his derailleur in the dirt or flipping the bike and dirtying his white bartape and matching white saddle.

9. Oil your squeaks before the ride. No one wants to be behind the guy with the poorly tuned bike, it makes people uneasy, like the bike may explode at any minute. We all know that guy, don’t be him.

10. Your bike should be well tuned at all times. Fine tuning at the meeting spot is acceptable, but showing up with a derailleur that needs major work is amateurish.

11. Keep your power and heart rate data to yourself. It’s fine to recount how you won a field sprint or bested your fellow riders on a climb, but keep those geeked out numbers to yourself. Since no one is going to do the math using your weight and power numbers so that the power files make sense, the numbers mean nothing to anyone but you and your coach. No one gives a shit that you can put out 1400 watts. Keep the stories qualitative and you will keep your listeners interested.

12. Don’t complain. I am guilty of this. If the roads suck, the pace it too high, and there is too much traffic, don’t go on the ride next time. For now, shut it. If the ride is faster than you and your coach thinks is prudent ask nicely if the hammerheads will slow down (if it was agreed beforehand that this was an easy ride), otherwise just drop back and ride alone at your own pace.

13. Don’t ramp up the pace on an easy ride. If everyone agreed that the ride was going to be long and steady or a pastry ride, don’t be the douchebag who sprints for townlines or tries to cook your friends by ramping up the pace. Chances are they are saving it for an upcoming race or have some training goals for the ride. If you are killing it when everyone else if trying to take it easy, perhaps you should evaluate your own goals.

14. Don’t put the other people on the ride in danger. This deserves a whole post.

15. Point out or call out obstacles in the road. Ice, large rocks glass and deep potholes are all worthy of pointing out and calling. Don’t point out minor items that would not take a rider down, it becomes tedious for everyone behind you to sort the real obstacles from the minor ones.

16. Don’t make unexpected moves in a group. If you are in a tightly packed group and you see a manhole cover at the last second, better to ride over it than to swerve and take out the rider beside you.

17. If your buddies are not going to make it through the intersection with you, you should stop and wait for a gap in traffic that is long enough for the whole group to get through together.

18. Carry money. A ten spot is enough for most circumstances. Be the guy who buys everyone coffee sometimes.

19. When the roads are wet, put fenders on your bike. Not only will you stay drier and save your drivetrain, the people behind you will be pleased. Clip on fenders are cheap and fit on every road bike. You spend 1000’s on the bike, and race tune it regularly, there is no excuse for not having a set of cheap fenders in the bike closet.

20. Wave to other cyclists. Obviously, if you are in the middle of a time trial effort, you can pass, but otherwise, be nice. Just because Fred has his legs splayed out on the sides of his poorly fit Trek Team Discovery replica and is wearing a pro tour jersey and black non bib shorts over his unshaven legs, does not mean Fred is not a fellow cyclist. Also, Fred could train hard and start smoking you in races.

This list is obviously incomplete. If you have something to add to this list feel free to post it in the comments section. If it seems reasonable, I will edit the post and add your contribution.
Admittedly, most of us are unable to fulfill all of these requirements all of the time, but if you strive to, you will be designated as one who keeps is tight and you will be invited on the secret training rides that are not posted on the group lists.